I can see this family living in Indonesia forever. No, I'm not having living abroad blues (LAB), but I would say I love Indonesia very, very much. The time I left Jakarta and returned to Utrecht, a slight tinge of loneliness set in. Sure, I had great friends who I love hanging out with. I had met a great people from all over the world: Scandinavians, Spanish, South Africans, Canadians, Brits, Irish, Japanese and even fellow Indonesians. I had great friends. (I'm sorry, kinda avoiding use "We" or "Us". It's all about me - Adhit).

Regardess, nothing, nothing could stop me from pinning over the pictures of my family & friends from back home. Yesterday I sat on the computer for an hour, chatting with my college friend via windows live while he was at work. At the same age, unmarried, and already in possession of his dream job, a master degree, free, and wild, he couldn't understand my dilemma. I decided to talk to my wife (a curcol thing) and she said, Here you are in a world where nobody cares about your A in calc(ulus). You've been giving such an amazing opportunity to be here, you know that. Use it. You're just feeling a bit isolated. We've been there so many times. Beat it. Do it for me and the kids. Will you do that? Yes, I will... Even though I knew the same questions always followed: Shouldn't I get started on the real life in Jakarta?

Aaaaaall through school stages; my elementary, junior high, senior high, college, master degree, doctoral years, I was told to get an A in class if I wanted to 'succeed'. And so I did. I was so sure success would be mine as long as I always met the benchmarks, please those around me, and had a glowing GPA. But life is not about that. I have my own family, a lovely wife, three beautiful daughters, and in addition to these tasks, I have been working furiously to take care a too-important job. (I very well made this a post complaining about how hard things are. Hahahaha LOL. Do not worry, I know the EXACT reasons we were moving :)

So it's important for daddys around the world. Especially Indonesians daddy yang pernah mikir untuk membawa keluarganya ke luar Indonesia for good dengan alasan bosan dengan kemacetan dan ingin membesarkan keluarganya di lingkungan yang sehat (gue tau beberapa orang yang berpikiran seperti ini). Kemacetan di Jakarta, polusi, pay rate yang 'rendah' kadang2 bisa buat kita (the daddys) berpikir untuk 'memindahkan' keluarganya ke luar negeri. Tapi kalau bukan karena alasan sekolah atau ditugaskan keluar negeri, gue pribadi akan menyarankan mereka untuk berpikir ulang.If you're going to be in another country for a year or longer or for good, it is absolutely essential to have A REASON for being there.

The matter is not about the LAB. LAB cuman sedikit dari fase gue yang (sungguhan) masih suka labil seperti anak cewe SMA. The reason must be clear, specific, and have some importance to you. Let's say, destinasi terdekat untuk 'memindahkan keluarga ke lingkungan yang lebih baik' adalah di Singapura. According to my cousin yang hidupnya zig-zag Indonesia-Singapura, life is much better in Indonesia, Jakarta. Menurut dia, hidup lebih settle di Singapur dengan segala kemudahan especially masalah transport. Tapi perbedaan lifestyle and kompetisi merupakan pressure yang bisa dia tukar dengan kemacetan setiap jam pergi dan pulang kerja. Sebulan-setengah tahun pertama bakal bisa dihandle, lama2 itu menjadi stressor.

Begitu juga pendapat gue secara pribadi (gue tidak membawa-bawa Adinda). Jujur gue iri liat foto2 temen2 gue di facebook; mereka bisa hangout dan main futsal dengan coworkers di luar jam kerja. Meanwhile, di sini gue trapped dengan 'genk' yang itu2 aja main Wii sabtu malam. Bukan karena gue nggak memperluas pergaulan, tapi begitulah di sini. Meski di bandingin dengan Singapur, gue beruntung di sini gue tinggal di kota pelajar yang isinya orang dari seluruh dunia dan bisa saling menyapa meski nggak tau nama cuma kenal muka kalau ketemu orang. Tapi tetep aja you know... Gue memiliki that blood, darah Indonesia yang membuat gue pengen bumping kalau ketemu temen lama, futsal sepulang kerja, ngomongin Kambing Cairo yang tiba-tiba happening karena baru buka di Sambas, catching up with gadgets like other guys, atau going to the movie every friday night with the wife. It's 100% bout the guy-thing.

Hal-hal seperti itu udah gue pikirin sejak awal bahkan sebelum gue pindah (lagi) ke sini (dulu pas masih kuliah enjoy abis, nggak ada beban selain dapat nilai bagus).m Itu sebuah daftar opportunity cost buat gue saat ini (yang gue tau bakal bikin gue pengen nimpuk anjing tetangga pakai kunci stir kalau lagi LAB). But it's all about the time, tapi gue optimist untuk bisa membesarkan anak2 gue di Jakarta atau Bandung. Begitu juga dengan Adinda yang pengen anak2nya besar di Bandung :D I can see it's coming... Kami meninggalkan Jakarta dan ketika kembali bakalan pelan2 ngewujudin mimpi seperti punya rumah sendiri dan bikin usaha sendiri yaitu Diner yang udah diimpi-impikan terus.

Kalau ditanya orang, istri gue selalu bilang meskipun kadang2 terlunta-lunta (bener nggak bahasanya?) hidup di sini, ngejalanin peran sebagai students pula, tapi kami nggak mungkin melakukannya kalau nggak membawa manfaat untuk hidup anak2 kami. That's right... We are here for a reason, to achieve our vision. This is a mission. Jujur hidup kayak gini bikin kami menjadi tua sebelum waktunya. Tapi di sisi lain kami tetap berusaha untuk membuat anak2 tumbuh sewajarnya sesuai dengan usianya. Karena kami nggak pengen hidup di sini selamanya, kami yakin one day kami akan bercerita kepada anak-cucu dan orang lain (atau anak-cucu orang lain), living abroad is really worth it. But we're proud Indonesian, we know that we will one day permanently return to our hometown and that is where we belong.

*lirik istri yang lagi sibuk ngurus her student visa. Welcome to Ph.D school, wifey! :)

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